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Quicksand (2001)
IMDB rating: 5.10
Plot: The workaholic head of the compliance section of a New York bank flies to Monaco to investigate unusual deposits from an offshore bank and meets a down-on-his-luck international film star who has become embroiled in criminal activities.
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Directors: Mackenzie John
Actors: Keaton Michael,Caine Michael,Serbedzija Rade,Marsh Matthew,Berkeley Xander,Beck William,Berteloot Jean-Yves,Castaldi Jean-Pierre,Stinton Colin,Drama,Crime,Thriller,
I have to do something, inside and out, where do i start?
either i dunno what to do, how to do it or im confused with all this brain clutter..
i apologize, if my text would be long and kinda incoherent, im having a hard time putting my thoughts into words.
Right now, my goal is.. to kick my ass and find a job..
ive been a lazy man for up to this 23rd year of my life, yet for some unknown reason ive convinced myself to make a new years resolution, to earn money..
the problem behind the laziness? as commonly known.. no inspiration, indifference, suicide comtemplation (yet not enough motivation to stab myself), and apathy right? I guess there are times when you could say im Lucid, like when i get to laugh, being generous, helping someone unconditionally, and obeying my elders.
I can just simply tell my body to do things.. and be good at it.. like in school (though not the best).
I do know, that anxiety comes from unknowing things. so here i am asking. though i dont know anything i fear, besides the situation like when you are stuck in quicksand. yet no quicksand, but the feeling of fear and being dramatically stuned in thinking and in consciousness.. ive been wasting too much time trying to pull myself together. and i cant read all the brain clutter in my mind. its like im already gone from this world, but you can still see your feet standing there.
spent most of my free time alone, playing strategy and puzzle games, and the like.
btw, im a College graduate in nursing.. waiting for my board exam results (i really hate my course from the begginning).. i used to be interested in building robots, software programing, law, architecture, new things.. but now everything inside of me ,is like in the terms of "spirituality" , it is so cold, colder than ice, that i cant move. and the idea that keeps dropping in my head is just get a knife and stab my heart. (dont worry i wont do it, i just dunno why i cant pass a day without that thought), perhaps i believed once that useless are not meant to live. i want to move on, but my will isnt enough.
some of you, may discuss religion or spirituality.. i respect that.. but just so you know, my brain thinks in hard science and rationale. well il try to open my empty mind and be a good listener as much as i can though.
Very interesting story. I recommend these links for your scientific mind:
http://www.perceivingreality.com/ **
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhoTCiNrd W4&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FEykDoaT Hg&feature=channel
| Jan 19, 2010
